Two cents from a nuisance

October 20, 2010 § 3 Comments

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines.

You're gonna listen to this guy's two cents? Damn skippy, Kippy!

Since I am not actually covering anything specific, therefore not “breaking” news to the world, I’ve decided to do an article where I list a number of headlines and give you my opinion on the matter.  Sports, entertainment, anything I deem worthy of mentioning.  Feel free to comment, agree, disagree and/or be offended by any of my comments.

HEADLINE:  Junior Seau beats girlfriend, then drives off cliff

Bad timing, Junior.  He was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Monday morning and less than 24 hours later his car went for a swim in the Pacific.  Do I think it was a suicide attempt like some media is suggesting?  No.  Probably just an accident.  And the domestic abuse?  The 41 year old wasn’t beating his 26 year old girlfriend, he was simply punishing her in the same fashion he would punish his kids.  Because they’re about the same age.

HEADLINE:  NBA 2k11 video game features Michael Jordan

Oh, how convenient.  Only 7 years after he officially retired and 12 years from when he finished playing with the Bulls he lets himself be in a video game.  You want to know what’s really cool, Michael?  Not being in video games during my generation.  The generation who watched you play growing up.  Do you know what it’s like buying NBA Hangtime, the best sports game ever made, and not being able to find you?  As exiting as it is to play with Tony Kukoc and Horace Grant, Midway couldn’t muster up enough money to let kids play with you (no pun intended)?  If the kids of today bought a video game and couldn’t find Kobe Bryant until they were 22, they would throw one of these.  Anyone recall their best combo?  Mine was Glen Rice and (whoever).  The man does not miss.  He’s on FIRE!

HEADLINE: NFL hands down fines for violent hits

I can see both sides of this argument.  You never want to see players get injured, but that’s football.  It always has been.  There were a number of big hits this past Sunday which led to the question, is football getting out of hand?  You can certainly fine/suspend Patriots safety Brandon Meriweather for his hit on Todd Heap, clearly knew he was going in for the headshot.  But to fine defensive players for big hits?  When it comes to a receiver coming across the middle you can’t tell a DB, “Hey, let him catch the ball, get his footing, look upfield and see you.  Then you can tackle him when he can prepare himself for it.”  I’m not against making football a safer sport, but it’s a physical game.  These men know the risk and get paid millions of dollars to take that risk.  Tell your quarterback not to throw you the ball when a train is coming.  When I got home from work last night I flipped on ESPN and there was the Monday Night Countdown crew discussing the issue.  Steve Young was very adamant for placing rules against hitting and all of the analysts made great points based on their beliefs.  But did they forget that they used to have a segment called “Jacked Up!” where they glorified big hits?  Does anyone remember if Young was on the MNC crew back then?  Anyways, make it safer but don’t change the game.  If that’s possible.

HEADLINE: More women coming forward against Brett Favre

Did I not call this?  I am the man.  Actually, it really wasn’t that hard to see.  This is called the “Tiger Woods Effect”.  Also referred to as the trickle down effect or domino effect.  I should write a movie.  Seems these are women who received texts from Favre while he was a New York Jet, same as Jenn Sterger.  I guess NYC can really change a person?  I wouldn’t know, but I can imagine he had a lot more women approaching him in New York than in Green Bay where there are about 12 women total.  It’s like old people and Facebook, they can’t get ahold of themselves when they discover some new technology the rest of us have known about for at least a year.  Ohhhh!  How cool!  I can take a picture and send it to you?  Here’s me at the Grand Canyon.  DO YOU SEE?  Here’s me at our nations capital.  Here’s my penis at the nation’s capital.  Biting him in the ass, big time.  This whole “no thanks” business must have really gotten to him, seeing as these women wanted nothing to do with him (which can be total crap as well, who knows).  Like I said, come forward, Brett.  Admit it and it will be gone by November.  Guarantee it.

HEADLINE:  Cliff Lee throws shutout against Yankees

All that is needed to be said is in the title.  As long as we don’t go all Dallas Mavericks 2006 on them, the Rangers have a good chance at going to the World Series, especially if it comes down to a game seven where Lee would pitch again at home.  Hey Kansas City crew, the Chiefs might have a better record than the Cowboys, but what’s Billy Butler and the gang doing right now?  Just messing with you, Kauffman renovations are tight.  But seriously, I already have World Series tickets to game 1.  So please, Rangers, get there.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing A-Rods upset face.  It’s almost as good as Eli Manning’s pouty face, but not quite.

HEADLINE:  Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time episode two airs tonight

One of my favorite comedians, you know what I’ll be doing tonight at 9.  Comedy Central.  Watch it.  Or don’t.  I don’t care.

HEADLINE:  Cowboys fall to 1-4 on season

I feel I must voice how I felt about the Cowboys right now considering all of my Kansas friends keep rubbing Chiefs nation in my face (great pass interference call, hehe).  They’re a good team but aren’t playing like it.  I don’t see how anyone could deny that.  Minnesota did not look that great on Sunday, but they capitalized on Cowboy turnovers and the teams lack of execution.  If the Cowboys left tackle Doug Free (who will be soon if he commits more errors like that) doesn’t pull one of these numbers and hears the snap count, he gets a hand on Jarod Allen.  Romo is never rushed and never forces a throw at a Viking helmet, causing the ball to pop up, be intercepted and eventually result in a short field and the score.  But that’s the game.  And those missed assignments are what make teams lose.  Do I think the Cowboys can salvage the season?  I’m not so sure.  I think time will tell on that one.  But if we go 4-12, Wade Phillips needs to go.  My vote: Jon Gruden or Bill Cowher.  Straight up, homie.

Feel free to repost this if you like it via Facebook or Twitter or send it to your friends.  Twitter @kipreiserer.  If people like what they’re reading, I’ll keep writing.  Trying to make it on my own so I need everyone’s help!  Feedback is appreeshed.  Until next time, hide ya kids, hide ya wife.

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§ 3 Responses to Two cents from a nuisance

  • Clark Stinson says:

    Bro, theres got to be another coach the cowboys are looking at rather than trying to pull one of those two guys out of retirement. Now that Jordan is in a video game you’ll actually be able to tell its him. When we were kids you couldn’t really notice the difference anyway with how bad graphics were. I have another good picture of your haircut. I might have to put it up on fb.

  • Last says:

    Romo is probably doing the same thing Dallas that Favre was New York. The thing is, though, that Romo is dickless, and therefore, his moneyshots are of nothing. Except for maybe Jerry Jones gums.

  • Husky #3 says:

    Not funny on the pass inteference call. That was such bs. You’re lucky I wont be in Lawrence this weekend.

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